1. |
Hard Candy Christmas
02:34
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|ggJggJgdggdd+g@|
“No dingo men or goblins allowed.”
The sign hung haphazardly across the tavern door. Samser took another puff on his pipe and spit. As a goblin, there wasn’t much in the way of opportunity in Steelguard Fortress, but it sure beat slaving in the mines of the demon lords. Haughty dwarves passed by him with hatred in their eyes. It was about time he was headed home.
Samser’s neighborhood was on the wrong side of the mine cart tracks. It was a place you wouldn’t show your face after the evening bell, at least if you didn’t want someone to rearrange it for you. Samser tapped the crundles on the head as he passed them by. A pair of jaguar women looked at him from a back alley. It was hard-living in the lower mines.
“Where have you been?” shouted Samser’s woman.
She was a hill dwarf from a fortress down the river. Hilga was her name, and she too had come to Steelguard looking for a future. She had three children from a previous marriage and Samser looked at them without sympathy, though they were clearly suffering. But though he had no heart to speak of, he knew something had to give.
Animal people now outnumbered all dwarves and goblins combined in the underclass. Samser thought it must be because the dwarves had chopped down most of their forests. The dwarves liked to think that none of this mattered. What was another food riot when the adamantine kept flowing?
“You need to find a job,” said Hilga. “Right now you are just another mouth to feed.”
Smirking, Samser thought it must have been half a year since he had had any solid food, but he could use a drink. Slamming the door, he followed the tracks down to the goblin bar. When he could get in, Samser preferred to drink with the dwarves. Down at Effie’s it seemed like there was a murder every other night.
Big Effie was a walking contradiction, a fat, jolly, good-natured goblin. That didn’t stop Effie’s establishment from being the most violent place this side of Steelguard. As Samser bellied up to the bar, he couldn’t help noticing a dwarf sitting by himself in the corner. Samser tried to back away, but it was too late. The dwarf noticed him.
“Do you know what time it is?” asked the dwarf.
“It is time for you to get out of this neighborhood,” said Samser.
“It is time,” said the dwarf, “for revolution.”
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2. |
Ahang Shirin - Lilith
05:20
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3. |
Pure Imagination
01:46
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CCCCCCC,.,.,.|||@+@+>
Fires burned at the edge of the vast grassland, holding back the darkness before the dwarf fortress. All night baleful howls could be heard on the plain, undead cows brought back to life by the evil wizard Maxelman. He had allowed the dwarves to live in his domain of evil, if they but bestowed on him one artifact a year. Nothing, however, could measure the greed of a dwarf. Nothing, that is, save his thirst for strong whiskey.
A dwarf stood atop the battlement, laughing drunkenly. "Get down Twan," whispered his fellow guardsman. "The night-wings will snatch you off the wall!" Twan threw his stein off the wall in defiance. Such was his vanity that he thought that they only need live through the night. Little did he know, the dawn would never come.
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4. |
Embraceble You
03:42
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Embrace me, my sweet embraceable you
Embrace me, you irreplaceable you
Just one look at you
My heart grew tipsy in me
You and you alone
Bring out the Gypsy in me
I love all the many charms about you
Above all, I want my arms about you
Don't be a naughty baby
Come to mama, come to mama do
My sweet embraceable you
I love all the many charms about you
Above all, I want my arms about you
Don't be a naughty baby
Come to mama, come to mama do
My sweet embraceable you
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5. |
I Need You Here
02:26
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DgDgg%@@%@~~++++++>>>>^+^+^+^+^%%%%%@
Twan held his helmet over his eyes and screamed. Fireballs smashed into the walls, shot from the gullets of a dozen dragons circling in the smoke-choked sky. Marksdwarves dove from the walls and smashed into the courtyard below. "Stand and fight!" shouted Captain Krandle. "Fear no devil!" Twan reached the courtyard just as the gate broken open wide. Pike-wielding goblins poured through the opening. Captain Krandle threw his great braided beard over his shoulder and called forth his squad of elite axe-lords, The Chosen.
Pike and axe clashed again and again as Twan crawled between the legs of the combatants. A head dropped onto the ground before him. It was the head of Captain Krandle. Twan pressed on. He would not be paralyzed with fear. It seemed that the power of Maxelman knew no bounds, but not even he could breach the inner mines. Dodging the deadly weapons, and slithering over the bodies, Twan made his way the center of the fortress.
A dark tunnel lay beyond the entrance to the keep. Twan danced down the corridor in the intricate steps that avoided the complex mass of triggers and tripwires that guarded the entrance. Inside were the mines, stocked with enough dwarven wine to keep them in the cups for ten years. Twan reflected for a moment on those above who had died. It wasn't important. He was alive, and would remain so, so long as he avoided the king and any quests he might have in store.
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6. |
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%@/%+++@+@@@
"That blasted wizard Maxelman," came a booming voice. "He shall not have my artifact staff!"
Curses, thought Twan from his hiding in the cellar, the king! The dwarf lord paced back and forth, followed by a pleading train of aristocrats, tears of rage streaming from his eyes. The staff, the cause of all the suffering the dwarves now endured, was only ten short steps away. In near berserker rage, the king threw the staff down, startling the nobles. Twan saw his chance. He shot between the nobles and snatched up the artifact.
"Scoundrel," roared the king, "unhand the magic staff!"
Twan leapt onto a keg, holding the staff high.
"Maxelman will burn this fortress to the ground to gain this staff," said the rude dwarf. "I will have this power for myself!"
The king growled, plucking the gold rings from his fingers. He hurled them at Twan, one striking the dwarf in the teeth. "Seize him!" shouted the besieged ruler. Twan jumped from barrel to barrel as the purple clad nobles chased him. As he ran from the cellar he heard king's cry, "Guards, guards!"
In the enemy camp, the vile wizard Maxelman puzzled over his battle plans. A dwarf fortress is always a hard nut to crack. One of his generals, a skeletal shade from the netherworld, summoned him from his tent. The wizard straightened his aching back, brushed his long black beard, and stepped to the door. There, standing between two fierce goblin guards, was Twan, holding the king's staff.
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7. |
A Caroling We Go
01:33
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+U+G-@+GG+
"You bring me the staff," said the evil sorcerer, "as a traitor to your people?"
The dwarven rogue took a step back and leveled the staff at his arch-nemesis.
"You will have the staff," said Twan. "Have it through your black shriveled heart!"
The dwarf pressed a secret button and a blade emerged from the end of the staff. The wizard called on his generals. The skeletal ghoul drew his saber and charged. Twan spun with expert skill and took out the phantom's knees, such was the power that the staff bestowed. Two more undead warlords entered the tent. Twan thrust the staff at Maxelman but a undead general threw himself in front of the blade, impaling himself and collapsed into dust.
The legless fiend below snatched Twan's ankles and pulled Twan to the floor. The staff spilled onto the ground. The dwarf felt his courage suddenly fading. The wizard snatched up the artifact and cried out with joy. The long campaign was finally at an end. The skeleton put its bony arm around Twan's neck and pulled him upright. The wizard noticed the dwarf and walked toward him, pointing the staff.
"Nice try, dwarf," said Maxelman. "Now feel the true power of the artifact staff!"
Twan caught the thrust between his palms. As the wizard snarled, Twan took the staff in one hand and with several quick motions, activated the secret switches along its length. The dwarf released the staff as saw blades swept out of the shaft and sliced off the wizard's hands. Twan jammed his helmet into the skull of the phantom general and smashed all the bones in its face.
The dwarf picked up the blood covered staff and chased the wizard from the tent. Dozens of goblins blocked his way, but he dispatched them with mighty slashes of his weapon. Just as he came within a spear's throw of his enemy, a huge dust cloud blocked his way. Wind blew down as a giant dragon landed before the dwarf. At last, thought Twan, a worthy opponent.
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8. |
Frosty the Snowman
02:44
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~~~~..pppp.,.,@,..,.,.
In the frozen wastes far to the south, the dwarves toiled to construct a mighty fortress out of glacial ice. Beyond the frozen walls, at the edge of the snowy island, penguin men watched with fascination. At the center of the iceberg, an underwater volcano rooted the floating ice in place. It had not erupted in a hundred years, but the dwarves tested the mountain's patience with their constant digging. Arud the penguin man leaned toward his friend and whispered.
"I think these creatures may be more trouble than a pack of leopard seal," he said.
The wind blew harsh, clouding their view. A small man appeared through the blizzard. His beard was frozen and his skin was blue with cold. In his hand he held an iron pick. The penguin men looked at each other and clucked. The dwarf reached them, leaned on his pick and spoke.
"You must help us," he said.
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Portallatro Record Co. Whitefish, montana
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